everyday is a learning day. Thank you Lord.

Friday, 15 October 2010,

i am the worst daughter one can ever have. bringing me into this life is a mistake for my mum. i have not been a helpful daughter, a responsible daughter for my 20 years living in this world.. i never take my time to try to understand the difficulties you faced when raising me up. this selfish and lazy daughter of yours. i am sorry mummy.

this evening, at 4pm, i went out to the compound of the house to clean it. my house has been emptyfor exactly one month cos everyone went down to kl and left my dearest Sherrie at home to guard the house. dry leaves from the mango tree and another tree which i dont know the name were all over my house compound and in the drains. i had to go under the mango tree which is full of red big ants called "KERENGGA" crawling all over the ground to sweep the leaves. i was thinking to myself, "Lord, i pray that you will talk to the ants and ask them not to bit me." although i have been very careful not to step on any of the red ants, this one special one came and bite my leg. at that very moment, i thought of my mum. she had been bitten by so many red ants each time she clear the leaves under the mango tree. they would climb into her shirt and bite her neck, back even her hands and legs. one bite that i had experience is nothing compared to uncountable bites that my mum experienced.

i swept the porch. imagine how dusty will it be if the porch is not swept for one month. plus, Sherrie drops lots of hair. my gosh... it was definitely dusty. i hope i wont fall sick soon.

besides that, i watered the plants. i watered some of them using a hose and some of them i gotta use pail because the hose couldnt reach them. i wanted to make things fast so i fill the pail until it is 2/3 full and carried the pail to the plants. the plants that couldnt be reached by hose all needs lots of water. so i had to carry the pail to and fro. man! i'm tired.

then, i clean the longkang. i forgot longkang is called what in english. if anyone could help me, please do! i weed the little plants in the longkang. den i wiped the bird shit off the car. it's hard and dry.. eee..

and then, i came in to the house to wipe the floors. it is so freaking dusty after one month not touched. the living room, dining room, kitchen and 4 rooms. fuh!!! my back bone was aching already. tired sial!

and here am i right now, just finish bathing. ahh.. it felt so good. after a day working hard, taking a cold bath is so nice. how i wish i had a bath tub. den i can relax and soak for a while... =)

i'm not trying to boast how hardworking i've been today. not at all. but there is one thing i would like to boast. i thank God deep in my heart for opening my eyes and heart to see how i've neglected my mum. she's 57 years old now but yet, i couldnt see it all this while. i realized.. how i never helped her for even once. how suffering is she doing the chores all by herself. now i understand the suffering. now i understand her sacrifices. and yet she never grumble even a bit because SHE IS THE WORLD GREATEST MUM! thank you mummy. i promise i will always help you from now on.

my most beautiful mum.

dearest mum.

thank you LORD! i'm so happy that you've opened my eyes, heart and ears to appreciate the people around me before it's too late. all this while i've been completely blind but you opened a way for me to see again. from today's experience, i got to know the meaning of the phrase "everything happens for a reason". God brought me back to tpg without my mum so that i can know how does my mum feels all these while. the ant's bite is to wake me up to see my mum has been bitten much much more time.

This is a song to show how grateful i am:

Jesus, I thank you,
Jesus, I thank you Lord.

For opening my eyes,
For opening my heart,
For opening my ears,
Every single day.

I am now, able to see, your works in my life,
I am now, able to see, your works in my life.