1st LAN game at home.

just finish playing counter-strike with my pi. =)

i'm happy. 1st time we play together in a LAN game at home.. =)

swweettt.... hehe..

you make me happy.

i love you pi.

3 hours of sleep

last night, friday 27 August 2010 til now saturday, 28 August 2010, 6.11pm

i slept for only 3 hours. but he nvr sleep at all. pity him.

helped my pi decorate his log book for the scout. 4 log books. tiring shit. huhu.. too bad i forgot to take pic of my decoration. let you all see how nice is my deco. hah.

time to sleep. beh tahan adi. night.

it's fading

it's fading and i know it.

why am i feeling this way??

seriously, i dont know.

mummy.

mum, i miss you very very much. i'm sorry i didnt appreciate you when i'm back in tpg. all i ever do is go out. i nvr stayed home. go out with my bf and my frens whole day, i nvr even bother to sit at home and eat with you. i'm sorry and i'm truly sorry. i promise i wont go out that frequent anymore when i'm back in tpg on sept. you asked me why would i wanna go to his house when his family member dont like me. i got no idea mum.. and i wont step my foot there except for any special celebration. just go there to show my face and to collect ang pau during chinese new year. mummy, i miss your cooking. i have to eat rubbish everyday in kl when everyone get to eat home cooked food including him.. i skipped my dinner because i dont know what else can i eat anymore. i'm tired of eating outside food.

mummy........ i really miss you.

confidence.

Sunday, 22/8/10

went to Mines City at 2pm cos Clement's bro, Mark, joined the metro man competition. he has joined many competitions before this including dance competitions. it made me think that for a person to join so many competitions, he/she must be confident of his/her capability and confident of themselves. i nvr mean to say we will surely win if we are confident of ourselves. even if we dont win, we can gain experiences. it's all about what do you think of yourself. if you have confidence, ppl will definitely see that you are person with strong personality. and the judges saw that in him. he won the celebrity fitness challenge worth of RM1200. Praise the Lord!

I'm sorry.

it's scary to know how some people can go out of control when anger took over them. something really scary happened yesterday, Saturday, 21/8/10. and it made me learn from it. i will not ever ever want him to be angry anymore. in the beginning he's not angry at all about the incident. but i wanted him to angry, did something to him and there he goes. the volcano erupts.. The volcano cannot be controlled. flowed out furiously and i cried. i'm sorry. that will never happen again.

I Love You.

p/s: i'm sorry that i never never learn from my mistakes although i've made you angry so many times. but this time, i promise i wont ask you to be angry over something that you are not.

it's opened for public!

yea.. finally i've remove the gates to my blog and allow anyone to come into my blog.. haha.. reason is.. i dont know. maybe because i feel no one reads my blog anymore. so what's the point of keeping it private.

i kept it private last time because well, i have problems with many ppl disliking me to be in a relationship with him. but anyway, it has been two years we've been together and still one of his aunt with the 2 daughters still dislike me. what to do, they say i'm the third party. and they freaking like his ex. i used to cry in his hug when they sarcastically tease me and it's so obvious that they don't like me. he looked me in the eyes and say "who is gonna marry you now? my family or me? even if they dont like you, i will still marry you no matter what. as long as i love you that's enough."

this matter made me thought of giving up the relationship few times actually. dont you feel it's heartbreaking seeing the family members of your loved one disliking you? maybe they dislike me because i cant speak cantonese and hard to communicate with them. gahhh.. sometimes i just feel like having another boyfriend whose family speaks english. hahaha..

recently, one of his cousin sister who dislikes me too opens an online shopping boutique. i'm interested in it. and decided to buy one of the skirt which can be used as top too. so she asked me bout payment. cash or maybank2U. i chose cash cos i didnt want to pay the extra dollar when transferring the money. and she said oh.. then must be from clement already lor. and i replied.. wat?? from my own la.. i pass to clement the money and give to karen lor. btw, karen is her sister. i was like wah liao eh.. kanasai la say me til i use his money. sweat.. i nvr use his money ok!! never. i work part time and earn my own money. the whole family including his grandma always think that i spend on his money. must you people make this freakingly hurting accusation??

the next thing is, i ask her.. can give me discount a bit? she say no need pay for delivery. den i was like sweat.. that is not counted as discount because she's not gonna deliver it to me straight to my house also. she's gonna pass it to clement or someone else and i gotta find my own way to get that skirt. kanasai.. you think you bluffing small girl meh?? if she ownself send the goods straight to my house only counted as discount la.. gahhhh...

there you go.. this one. this is my 1st time doing online shopping. do you think it will look nice on me? pls give me your opinion on this. is it worth 28dollar?

p/s: she bought this in Thailand. my opinion is it's too expensive for a thailand clothing.

what a torturing relationship i had last time

today i saw my ex's facebook. found out that he likes a girl but the girl dont like him i guess. hah. i laughed at him. how can a girl likes a guy like him who dont know how to appreciate his girlfriend and uses her to please himself.

den saw a friend of mine tag him in a video bout a singaporean girl hit the boyfriend's balls in public. hits his face with her shoe.. and i'm wondering whether did he realized that he was like that girl too last time when with me? in front of his friends he must be saying pity the guy, start criticizing the girl and this that. how about last time when he hit me in public? did he ever think of how painful i am at the moment when he hits me?? i dont think so. i guess that was his fun!

anyway, this is just a random post. gahh.. i know i must not think of the past. just glad that i didn't continue the relationship with him.

it didnt turn out the way i planned

my last post i decided to choose work over the expedition. but you see.. i made the decision before he's back from seremban. on friday itself, he came back from seremban and i kinda get soft hearted in my decision and went to the expedition.. i'm not blaming him at all for changing my mind. is just me myself wanna go for the expedition from the first place cos i wanna experience new things with him.

yea yea.. i know i'm not strong enough in my decision. anyway, we spent 36.80 not inclusive of food yet. plus food will be like 60 above i think. anyway, i enjoyed the trip and learn some new scout songs and make new friends. not to forget i'm gonna be sick. =(

still i'm really useless for not being able to keep to my word!

it's time to get out of my comfort zone

sometimes we just have to do the things that we dont like to do rather than doing the things that we love to do. i've just realised that two hours before.

there's an expedition to tpg with the scouts and he's going. me on the other hand need to choose between the expedition and working 8 hours tomorrow. i really hate going to work. i hate office job. somehow i just feel lazy to go to work although i am earning money from working. i know you will be saying how ungrateful i am. i tell you what. i really thank God for giving me this job. thank Him for setting up a nice study time table for me so that i can have time to work part time. and i'm starting to learn to appreciate everything i have. so stop saying i'm ungrateful!

but now the prob is, i also really would like to follow in the expedition and experience new stuffs with him but need to sacrifice an amount of money to pay for petrol and toll.

in the end, i chose to work 8 hours tomorrow. why? running out of money and need to really save for 2 occasions happening next month and next year.

hope you enjoy yourself pi.

i am learning to get out of my comfort zone, doing what i dont like to do. when will you get out of your comfort zone and look at the reality?

sweet quote

i got this quote from a fren of mine. his name is helios. guess many of you would have known him. didnt know he's so romantic cos i thought guys like him are not romantic. but i have seen many of his posts are sweeeet. dont get mistaken ya. I DONT LIKE HIM. ahah.

The quote goes like this:

The shortest word I know is "I". The sweetest word I know is "Love". And the person I never forget is "You".

what a beautiful moment

today while onlining in kfc, i saw an old couple.. the old man is talking so sweetly with his wife.. smiling away eating and talking and laughing. that one particular moment is so wow. i'm looking forward to the moment when we grow old together. it's not bout how much effort we put in a relationship. but it's about how sincere is your love towards the one whom you love. when a person is sincere, faithfulness will follow. it's about how your heart communicates with his. like chinese ppl say "sam leng siong thong". =)

both heart communicates doesnt mean that both also shut up and dont talk and like that can know what the person wants to say. ahaha.. it's about sharing anything in the heart with each other and knowing from the outside and all the way to what he's thinking. dont think that guys can be treated roughly all the time. do you think he'll like it? they're just like girls who wants sweetness and gentleness from their girlfriends.

i really like it when we said the same thing at the same time just out of sudden. =)

he's the one whom i want to be with til my old days.

..sweet love..

p/s: i wanna upload a music video straight from the net but i got no idea how. someone teach me!

will i change?

will i ever learn from my life, my mistakes?

i always tell myself to change the attitudes that i have towards other ppl but somehow when i talk with the person, somehow i started to grumble, making noises like a small kid does. this applies to me talking with my mum. after reading this, ppl will start asking, "dont you love your mum?" yes.. i love her.. i neglected her too much and i admit. i know myself that no matter how bad my mum is, she is still the one who brought me to the world and loved me.. and because of me, she suffers. Mum's love is just like God's love. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. my mum nvr hates me although i am rude to her. She's not that bad.. just that she's very clean-concious. that's all.. is it really hard for me to accept that?

when something went wrong, like my laptop receipt got lost, i'll start my grumbling, making noises and gosh... i dont even wanna explain myself. but do i ever change? no i dont. is it very hard for me to change? i hope not.

my new laptop!

8th of August, Sunday

Went to PC Fair again after lunch. walked around, ask again, and i'm tired of hearing the same thing over and over again.. zzz.. how nice if i can just ask the person to just tell me any new offer today?? hehehe..

he nvr gets tired.. still so energetic and goes all out because the laptop is for me. so he'll want the best for me. thank you pi. so we walked for quite long and now i'm torn between 2 acer laptop with diff specs. i called my mum for her opinion.. made my decision and walked to the acer booth to get my new lappie.. weee.. clement helped me pay 1st since i've lost my atm card.

Aspire 4741G = RM2299

Windows^® 7 Home Premium ,

Intel® Core i5-450M processor (3 MB L3 cache, 2.4GHz, DDR3 1066 MHz, 35 W),

NVIDIA® GeForce® 310M with up to 4094 MB of TurboCache™

14.0" HD 1366 x 768 pixel resolution,

2GB DDR3 RAM ,

500GB HDD

Acer Crystal Eye high-def webcam, 1280 x 1024 resolution,

Multi-in-1 card reader (SD™, MMC, MS, MS PRO, xD),

Three USB 2.0 ports ,

2.2 kg (4.85 lbs.) with 6-cell battery ,

3-Year Warranty ,

Free: 20 Gift

so after that, we walked around and look for his external hard drive. bought cooler master(WD), RM198.

by the time we're done, it's like 7 plus. so we went to the police station to lodge a report bout my missing wallet. when we're home, it's already 9 plus.

unpack the boxes and happy to see my brand new laptop.. =)

p/s: i tried uploading pics from the net but i dont know how so i cant upload.. sorry.

7th august.

7 August 2010, Saturday

woke up in the morning and called clement to wake him up cos he said he wanna cook for me for lunch.. hehe.. so after wake him up, i sleep back.. hehe.. so bad..

around 12pm he came to my house bringing all the food! yum yum.. i so happy cos 1st time he really really cook for me all by himself. cos all this while i got help a bit.. haha.. i enjoyed the food very very much.. delicious.. (cos i hungry also la the food tasted so nice).

den after finish eating went to kl convention centre to meet up with my mum and sis and also continue surveying for laptops.. see whether they got drop price or not.. indeed they did.

by the end of the day, decided to buy toshiba but mum told me not to buy yet and come back on sunday see whether they got drop the price some more or not.

so like that lor.. after that, yes yes.. the bad incident happened. my previous post says it all.. =(

i'm devastated!

i've lost my beloved wallet

7th of August, Saturday

Went to PC Fair, met up with my mum and sis.. we walked around..

Then when i am tired, we decided to go to a cafe behind toshiba to rest.

My mum gave me 200hundred dollars when we're sitting there.

After rest, my mum and sis went back. so me and clement went back into PC fair cos he wanna survey the price for his bro. den walk halfway, i realized the front part of my bag where i put my wallet was opened. put my hands inside and found that my wallet is missing. gosh... why does this happen to me?? went back to the cafe and found nothing. went to security office to lodge a report and called CIMB to cancel my atm card. i just want my wallet back. =(

lots of memories are inside it. my movie tickets that i've collected watching with him, my cute picture when i'm small (which i left one only), and all the important stuffs like my IC and stuff la.

Does this mean God is telling me not to buy my laptop? =(

Sad.. freaking sad.. why are there such people in this world who likes stealing.. even if you steal, can please just take da money only? very troublesome for me to do the things all over again. =(

i miss my wallet.. my sister bought it for me when she was working in genting. i love the design and it's RED! =( i can nvr find a better wallet than my old wan.. =(

and it's my 1st wallet officially.

I MISS YOU!!! =(

i need i need

i need a car.. seriously.. anyone can borrow me a car?? just for one day.. serious business.. huhu..